definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
