"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
