dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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