sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
