using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
