Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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