He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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