Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
