So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm at about main and main street
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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