I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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