Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
