dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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