Kiss
Puke
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
