I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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