Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
