just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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