Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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