Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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