I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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