Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize