idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
