I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
