sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
return my video game
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
