he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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