dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
