I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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