Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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