I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
