i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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