i just wanna soil my oats bro
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
