The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
