Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
