we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
