i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
