evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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