I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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