I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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