So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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