my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
