he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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