Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
