GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
