he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she peed on how many people?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
