On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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