is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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