Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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