it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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