you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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