I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize