so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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