Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
