He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
organizing the empties. That sober.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
