I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
