my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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