It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
