My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
