i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
don't judge my taste in strippers
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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