Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize