I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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