She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
