Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
