Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
