sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
