and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
