You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
