Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
