you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
